Bernadette Seacrest announced this week that she will be embarking on a five-city tour in May, along with Michael Grimes in the upright bass and drummer Jason Aspeslet; they’ll be billed as the Bernadette Seacrest Trio. Our favorite fully-inked chanteuse recently bought a sweet conversion van in which the group will drive, eat, sleep and fart, but not smoke! Destinations include Plush in Tucson, Cinema Bar in Los Angeles, Pat’s Garage and Bruno’s in San Francisco, Liquid Kitty in Santa Monica and Zebulon’s Lounge in Petaluma. Wish them well. In the meantime, check out Bernadette at Gulp (the cocktail lounge next to Graze at Monte Vista and Central) every Saturday from 8 to 10 pm, when no smoking is allowed in the bar.